morthils:

deliciouslycookingrpgideas:

a-daks:

probablybardrpgideas:

probablystrangerpgideas:

probablybardrpgideas:

Kids these days who think that being a bard is just about swinging swords and playing lutes disgust me. Where’s the pizzazz? The showmanship? The seduction??

you ain’t a real bard until you seduce your way out of at least 19 situations that would normally end in combat

You’re not a real bard until you make your DM cry because you seduced the Big Bad that they’ve built up to for 10 sessions

Once a bard friend rolled a 1 for a seduction and ended up killing a girl and tried to hide the body. He was caught, rolled low on deception and they all thought he was fucking her corpse.
He then tried seducing the guards and rolled low again so all the guards had boners while arresting him and the DM had to sideline the entire game and make up a dungeon for the rest of us to get our stupid bard out of.
But we didn’t. So for like 3 nights the DM essentially ran 2 different games, one of us questing without ol’ corpsefucker and then the adventures of corpsefucker: escape from boner castle.

He seduced his way out, naturally.

A true bard

(via liamdryden)

nosherlock:

americans say “asshole” and the british say “arsehole” and if you live in australia its a stuggle every time you want to insult someone because you dont want to sound pretentious but also you dont want to sound american

(via marchesamedici)

ghostcongregation:

making a NSFW sideblog so i can have a private place to talk about my habitual OSHA violations. message for url

(via halfhardtorock)

obveously:

pizzatomb:

imagine if china, while they’re up on the moon, decides to knock down the US flag or whatever just to say ‘screw you’ and its like, what are we gonna do? spend a couple million just to fly some craft up to the moon and re-erect the flag? the whole scenario would be petty and that’s hilarious 

i have lived in america my entire life and i am 100% sure we would do exactly that

(via metricmage)

ncc-seventeen-oh-fun:

Barbarian - *smashes a 40 on the ground and yells* SCATTER!

Bard - the entire salt and pepper diner story.

Cleric - You have the moral backbone of a chocolate eclair.

Druid - Aaah! One feels like a duck splashing around in all this wet! And when one feels like a duck, one is happy!

Monk - I’ll just keep all my emotions right here and then one day, i’ll die.

Paladin - for those of you who aren’t catholic, I don’t mean to exclude you (even though we looove to exclude you)…

Ranger - everybody get out of my way. I just wanna sit here and feed my birds.

Sorcerer - this might as well happen. adult life is already so goddamn weird.

Rogue - Stop snitchin’, motherfucker.

Fighter - sometimes babies will point at me, and I don’t care for that shit at all.

Warlock - FUCK DA POLICE!

Wizard - I’m either having a drink or I have to pee. You’re living the golden years kid, not me.

(via jdmara)

nosdrinker:

nosdrinker:

sir, you cannot name your son “Papa_Roach_Scars.mp3”, we just won’t allow it

when did I post this

(via oldmagazines)

hungwy:

enecoo:

hungwy:

Wish there were sweaters but like,for feet

socks

make your own post

(via jdmara)

enecoo:

socks

(via jdmara)

the-sweetest-slytherin:

Everyone else right now: PINK DIAMOND PINK DIAMOND PINK DIAMOND PINK DIAMOND PINK DIAMOND PINK DIAMOND PINK DIAMOND PINK DIAMOND PINK DIAMOND PINK DIAMOND PINK DIAMOND

Me @ Lars right now:

(via marypenelope)

tsunderphonics:

Shut up and dance has the same sound and drums as cotton eyed joe

I’m sorry

don’t be sorry they are both jams